Car Care...Heart Care

I have been thinking of advice I would love to give teenagers about to branch out into the world.  

I realized I would want to relate my thoughts to something teenagers could respond to well.  There are few things more dear to a teenager than their first car.  In fact, fifty years later, I still remember my first car, a Volkswagon Hatchback.  I loved that car.  

With the car in mind, here are my thoughts:

1. At some point, you have to put gas in the car.

You have to keep putting into relationships, even familial ones, to keep the relationship.  People naturally gravitate toward those who willingly invest in their friendship.  It doesn't have to be anything grand; just a conversation or sharing a meal can help a relationship go far. Without input and action from both parties, a relationship will not last. 

2.  Washing the car isn't enough maintenance; you must take care of the inside parts as well.

Superficial things will not foster a long-lasting relationship.  There must be a true connection, sharing of thoughts, hopes, dreams, and even just day-to-day things to keep a relationship alive. Knowing you thought enough to touch base with that person on a regular basis will go far in keeping the relationship alive. In addition, there has to be a mutual acceptance of the expression of thoughts and ideas.  Even if you don't agree on everything, you can agree on the things you can.

3. If you don't put it in gear, you won't go.

Relationships do not run on autopilot. You must consciously engage the other person.  This is not done by emojis and trite phrases.  This is done by actively seeking out the other person for the sake of knowing them better.  Even someone you have known all your life, such as a family member, will have different thoughts, desires, and interests over time.  You want to know who they are today, not years ago. One of my great regrets in life was not asking my older family members about their lives before me.  I wish I knew more about what they did, why they made the choices they did, what they found to be difficult, and how they overcame it.  Now it is too late.

4.  Each car needs the proper maintenance for that particular car.

No relationship is the same as any other in your life. Each is as different as the cars on the road.  What one relationship needs to thrive may be completely different from what another one needs.  Just as people are different, so are relationships. As we seek to know our friends and family better, we will become more aware of what each one needs most in their relationship with us.  If our attitude is to give to the relationship rather than to take, the relationship has more of a chance to thrive.

5.  You and the car will become a team.

You are the driver; it is the engine.  Both of you need to contribute to get to where you are going.  If you think of your relationship with your car as a team, you will take better care of your car, and your car will respond appropriately.  

Think of your individual relationships as small "teams."  You both work together to promote and foster the friendship.  You both want the relationship to grow, be stronger, and be better.  Recognize the importance of the other person in the relationship as essential, not only to the relationship but to you personally. 

6. Having said that, at some point, you will get rid of your current car.

Most people who have lived many decades can look back, often with regret, at relationships that were lost simply because there was no continuing.  Sometimes this is because someone moved away, or there was a change of schools, jobs, or location.  The commonalities were no longer there, and the relationship was lost.

No relationship is permanent.  Friends move or change, and loved ones age and die.

I remember when I graduated from high school, I never imagined I would not see my fellow seniors again.  I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that many of the friendships would no longer exist without the confines of school to bring us together.  It was the same when I graduated from college. 

In the now almost 50 years since I graduated from high school, I have seen only two of the people with whom I graduated.  At that was only a few isolated events.

You want to nurture each relationship so that when it is over, you think of it with joy, not regret.

7. Some cars are to get you from point A to point B, and that's it.  Some cars are a joy to own and drive.

What you get out of a relationship is in direct proportion to what you put into it.

Some cars are to get you from point A to point B, and that's it.  Some cars are a joy.  I remember driving that  Volkswagon Hatchback up a particular exit off the interstate.  Because the engine was in the back, the weight gave a different feel as I sped up on the interstate ramp and I always loved that feeling.  I never enjoyed driving another car as much as I loved driving that one.

Some relationships are deeper and more meaningful than others.  Some should be more meaningful than they are to you right now.  To be truthful, some should not even exist
Some relationships draw you away from what you should be, what you want to be, to something you may likely regret later.  Not everyone needs to be drawn in.  Listen to the advice of those put in your life to guide you.  There is no need to choose heartbreak unnecessarily.

8. May you always have wonderful friends and lasting relationships.  

May you always value and cherish your family members.  May you develop lasting friendships that you maintain all your life. May you know few disappointments through the relationships in your life.  May those you hold close bring you joy.

Drive wisely.

Friday Photos

 This picture was taken from my kayak at the end of a nice afternoon kayaking journey.

"Welcome Home!"

On Monday, we had a wonderful surprise!

We were taking Ellie into the backyard, and as soon as she turned the corner of the house, she went literally berserk!  She was wagging her tail rapidly and went straight to the red kayak propped up against the wall of the house.  I find difficult to describe the sound she was making. It was like a shriek, a whine, and a bark all rolled into one.  

She was at the end of the kayak, trying to get between it and the wall.  At first, I thought she might have found a cat there, but then I realized she only made that sound for one animal.

I walked over to the kayak, pulled it a little toward me and looked down.  Yes, Percival was there!  He had come home!  Ellie was thrilled, I was thrilled and Glen was thrilled.

Thinking he might be a little hungry after his brumation (hibernation for reptiles) I went to get him some food.  

We have not seen Percival since October, 7th of last year.  I knew then he was nearing his brumation period because a few days earlier I had found him nestled in the leaves underneath one of our orange bushes.  But I knew something Percival didn't know.  I knew Glen planned to pull up that bush in a day or two. I uncovered Percival and spoke to him.  I brought him some food and that was enough to encourage him to seek a new hiding place.

I don't know where he was all winter, but I suspect he was close.  At the most, he was in or near the creek that borders our neighbor's property

Last Spring, we first saw Percival again on April 14th.  But the soil is warmer now than it was then, and our highs this week will be in the 80s, so I suspected we might see him sooner this year and had been looking for him around the kayaks each day.

For those of you unfamiliar with Percival, he is the Box turtle who lives on our property.  He is also a primary character in our children's book series "Ellie & Percival." If you would like to read how Ellie first found Percival, how he got his name, or how he became a member of our family, you can read that here.

It is amazing to me how much our family loves this turtle.  Especially Ellie.  She encounters other turtles, sometimes in our backyard or in the schoolyard where we walk each afternoon.  Then she just casually looks and sniffs the turtle and goes back to her business.  But Percival truly is her friend.  We look for him, feed him and try to make sure he is safe as much as we can without disturbing his turtle way of life.

Everyday now until the fall, Percival will be a part of our lives...a part that we love.

All Things Ellie Tuesdays

There is a wonderful experience with Ellie that happens quite often.  As the evening winds down, so does Ellie. She hops up into my chair, wiggles herself across my lap and tucks her face in underneath my arm.  It isn’t long before she is asleep.  

I love these moments, this beautiful, sweet dog deciding to take a before-bedtime nap in my lap.  I feel her whole weight on me, and I know she believes herself to be in the safest place she can be.  I rub her velvety ears and whisper to her how much I love her.  She and I both enjoy the moment immensely.

There are times, however, when Ellie wants to be in my lap that are not sweet, cozy moments.  Like Monday.

On Monday, we had thunderstorms for most of the day.  A peal of thunder in the distance and a crack of lightning sent Ellie scurrying to my lap in record time.  I held her close and reminded her that she was safe, but she would continue to tremble in fear until well after the thunderstorm passed.  Even chicken could not distract her; she wouldn’t even look at it!  I do have medication to give her, and it helps to take the edge off her anxiety, but I feel so helpless when my sweet puppy is so scared.

Ellie’s behavior reminds me so much of our Christian lives.  When everything is going well, we enjoy the nearness, love, and mercy of the Lord.  We “rest in His lap,” as it were, knowing we are in the safest place we can be. We feel loved and protected.

But when trouble comes, we have a different response.  We hear the thunder, we see the lightning, we feel the pouring rain, and we choose to believe there is nowhere safe.  The lap hasn’t changed.  The arms holding us haven’t changed. The words to us through the Scriptures have not changed.  But we have changed.  We choose to see the lightning, to hear the thunder, to feel the rain.  We also choose not to feel the comfort offered to us in the Scriptures.  We choose not to believe that the Lord is exactly the same as when things were going well. Only what we choose to believe is not true.  We are presented a lie by our enemy and because our eyes, ears, and feelings seem to agree, we believe the lie.  The truth of the matter is God has not changed.

“For I am the Lord, I change not.” Malachi 3:6.

“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever,” Hebrews 13:8.

If walking by faith is a choice, and it is, then let us believe that our Lord is just as near, as protecting, loving and caring of us in our troubles as He is in our times of comfort.  Let us mark His word in our hearts and cling to them – and to Him-, in our sorrows.  It is then we will realize He is a “very present help in trouble…our Refuge and Strength.”

“Be still, and know that I am God:
I will be exalted among the heathen, 
I will be exalted in the earth.
The Lord of host is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
Psalm 46:10-11